A LOT of girls (and guys) are scared of the gym (especially the free weights area). But if you can become a “master of your thoughts”, those fears will be a thing of the past!
Even before stepping foot in the free weights area… your brain is going to come up with reams of shit to try and persuade you not to go:
“Everybody will point and laugh at me”
“All the guys in there will think I don’t know what I’m doing”
“Someone will say I look all sweaty and ugly”
and these thoughts will just keep on coming… you’ll start convincing yourself that the gym is not for you after all. Suddenly, the idea of setting fire to your training programme and buying 5 tubs of Ben and Jerry’s for your Netflix marathon sounds VERY appealing.
But that’s not going to help you lose weight and tone up, so you can finally feel happier with the way you look!
So… how do you stop these negative thoughts which are preventing you from getting results? Let me show you…
You Can’t Just NOT Think
Now, you can’t simply ignore your own brain. Try that and you will FAIL.
That’s like running outside in a rainstorm and trying to catch every single raindrop… Unfortunately, THINKING is an automatic process – it just HAPPENS and you cannot stop it.
So here’s how it goes down:
1. Thought comes into your head: “Everyone will point laugh at me”
2. You believe that thought
3. You go through negative emotions: fear, anxiety, frustration, confusion, negativity
4. You act on those emotions and cancel your “free weights session”
Your mind comes up with negative thoughts automatically… and when you believe them you FEEL a bucketload of negative emotions that RUIN your planned workout session.
But here’s the key:
YOU ONLY FEEL THESE EMOTIONS IF YOU BELIEVE THE ORIGINAL THOUGHT
Put simply. If you can question your thoughts, you can control your emotions and your actions. Which leads perfectly into my next point…
How Do We “Master Our Thoughts”?
So… these thoughts are coming in and we can’t stop them… but how do we deal with them?
Well, get your detective pants on honey, we’re about to go all “Sherlock Holmes” up in this bitch!
(I learned about this process by reading “The Work” by Byron Katie, a book I would recommend to anyone)
Unless you’re gullible as hell and still think Santa Claus is real (sorry if I shattered your dreams), then I’m sure you don’t believe everything you get told – we’re about to do the same thing but with OUR OWN thoughts!
We’re going to investigate our own thought processes and actually learn to QUESTION those thoughts rather than just accepting them blindly.
Now, this is incredibly important: If you do not write this shit down, it will be as difficult as dragging an elephant through wet concrete… so grab that pen and paper and let’s get to work.
Step 1: Put Your Thoughts Onto Paper
First, answer the following question:
Why are you afraid of the gym?
Try to be as honest as you possibly can and come up with your three top reasons. Just allow the thoughts to come to you and write down whatever pops into your head (no-matter how silly or petty you think it sounds).
EXAMPLE:
1. Everybody will point and laugh at me.
2. All the guys in there will think I don’t know what I’m doing.
3. Someone will say I look all sweaty and ugly.
Step 2: Question Your Thoughts
Once you’ve done that, it’s time to start that detective work. For your #1 reason, answer the following questions:
“Is it true?”
“Can you absolutely know that it’s true?” (Yes or no.)
(Hint: the answer WILL be no)
EXAMPLE:
“Everyone will point and laugh at me”
Is it true that as soon as I set foot in the gym, people will be pointing and laughing?… Will they really? How can I possibly know this?
There is absolutely no evidence for this. Let’s look at what happened the last time I exercised in front of others… what was the REALITY? did anyone point and laugh?
No… not a single person. It was fine!
So what will happen the next time I set foot in the gym?
Nobody will point and laugh at me
How do I know this?
BECAUSE THEY NEVER HAVE
and that is all the evidence I ever need. Case closed.
Step 3: The Third Question
So now we know that this thought is a fabrication of the mind… we can start to look at HOW that thought makes us feel if we do CHOOSE to believe it. So answer the third question:
“How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?”
EXAMPLE:
“Everyone will point and laugh at me”
When I choose to believe that thought, I feel scared, anxious, nervous, self-conscious confused…
These negative emotions affect my choices, I choose not to go to the gym all-together. If I do go, I choose to stick to familiar equipment (because somebody else is using the equipment I actually NEED for my workout).
Overall, believing this thought has a NEGATIVE effect on both my feelings and my actions.
Step 4: The Final Question
We now know how we feel and act when we DO believe that thought… but what is the alternative?
Time to answer the fourth question:
“Who would you be without the thought?”
EXAMPLE:
“Everyone will point and laugh at me”
So it’s time to imagine that I don’t have this thought at all… That instead, my belief is “Nobody will point and laugh at me”.
In that situation, is there any reason to feel afraid, anxious, self-conscious? Nope. None at all.
So WITHOUT the thought, I am a stronger, more confident person who stresses less and I do whatever workouts I want without worrying!
Now… the CHOICE is there. You can choose not to believe that thought, knowing what you know now (that life would be better without it).
Think of it like breaking up with a bad boyfriend! As soon as you ditch the bad thought, you are free to live your life however you want with nothing holding you back!
Step 5: Move Onto The Next Thought
Now move onto the next thought and repeat the “detective process”.
You will soon realise that the thoughts that cause those “gym fears” are horseshit… fabrications of your own mind which, funnily enough… you do not have to believe.
and… that you are better off without them.
What To Do Now (Get A Free Plan)
Now, go forth with your newfound courage and have a great workout! If you don’t currently have a workout plan, then we have that covered too, so save those excuses for someone else 😉
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